Saturday, November 28, 2009

File Under WTF?! - Mail Order Stun Guns?!

Hummmmm...okay.  LOL!  Apparently you can stop fools who are getting in the way of you getting your Black Friday shopping on, quick, fast and in a hurry.  The Cheetah One Million Volt Stun Gun will send ONE MILLION volts of "straighten up and fly right" to their asses and you will be safely home along with the bargain you filched right from under them by they time the regain consciousness. 
On sale right now at Black Friday prices - $49.99 down from $89.99...what a ass shocking bargain!! At that price you can get one for the entire family...including Grandma! You know she want to put it on her church rivals and all those ignorant young G's (and some of the old ones too) in the neighborhood!

Specifications:  World's Strongest Mini Stun Gun: at 1,000,000 volts, this is the highest voltage stun gun available. Just test firing this stun gun into the air is often enough to stop an attacker (Apparently waving this bad boy in the air like Indiana Jones with his whip will scatter them). As the bright electric current pulsates between the test prongs and creates an intimidating electrical sound, an attacker with any sense at all will be stopped in his tracks. 
If the sight and sound doesn't stop them, a jolt from this rechargeable mini stun gun certainly will! When an attacker is touched by the very powerful rechargeable mini stun gun, it will disrupt the message the brain sends to the voluntary muscles. Simply touching an attacker for three to five seconds will deliver a high voltage shock causing loss of balance and muscle control, confusion, and disorientation bringing him to his knees and making him incapable of further aggressive activity. Full recovery takes about five to ten minutes and there is no permanent harm. No batteries needed - simply recharge it.  The ground breaking design of the CHEETAH Stun Gun enables 1,000,000 volts to fire out of a stun gun that is so small it can actually be concealed inside a pack of cigarettes! Traditionally, the higher the voltage of a stun gun the larger the unit had to be. This is because they are normally powered by 9 volt batteries and the higher voltage units required three or four batteries. Now you do not have to choose between a small stun gun that is easy to carry and conceal or a high-voltage unit that is large and bulky.
Even though the CHEETAH is the highest voltage stun gun on the market it is also the smallest on the market. It easily fits in the palm of your hand or can be easily concealed. For those who would prefer to carry it in a holster, a small heavy-duty Leather holster with belt loop is included free.

Note: Stun Guns cannot be shipped to the following states: NY, MA, MI, NJ, RI, WI, IL, HI  Money Back Guaranteed for 30 days!

UPDATE 2013:  Did I not predict this mess?!?!! Did I not?!?!  *SMDH*

2 comments:

ChocolateOrchid said...

Girl, you are hilarious!!! Rofl!!

Tina aka Beanie said...

LOL!..you know you ordered one..*side eye*hahahah!

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